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Comodo mi non orci
[Editor’s Note: When it was announced yesterday that "Greatest American Hero” is getting the remake treatment for FOX, we thought, "That sounds like a great idea!” Then, we realized, we had that same great idea … precisely 6 years ago.]

ABC’s "V” is the latest in a string of attempts by networks to capitalize on past successes by  reinterpreting them in a new, updated version.

Unfortunately, this ploy has resulted in many more failures than successes. For every "Battlestar Galactica” there are a dozen remakes in the network scrap heaps: "Knight Rider,” "Bionic Woman,” "Fantasy Island,” "The Love Boat: The Next Wave,” and so on.

We can’t help but think that this poor track record is a combination of picking the wrong shows, updating the wrong elements and picking the wrong cast–and we’re willing to put our money where our mouth is.

Join us this week as we take a look at a dozen classic series remakes we’d like to see, how we’d freshen them up for current audiences, and who we’d cast in them.

"Greatest American Hero” (1981)

Original: Aliens give a schoolteacher a suit that gives him super powers. He loses the instruction manual and has to fumble his way through heroic adventures with his FBI agent sidekick.

Reboot: Tailor-made for the USA Network, "Greatest American Hero” combines humor with action and mystery much like "Chuck” or, well, most of the original shows on the USA Network. In the update, the suit is no longer created by mysterious aliens; it’s nanotech created by a rogue scientist who dies, taking his notes and the instructions with him.

Recast: Tom Everett Scott ("Southland”) as heroic teacher Ralph Hinkley. Donal Logue ("Life”) as FBI agent Bill Maxwell. Selma Blair ("Kath & Kim”) as Ralph’s lawyer girlfriend Pam. A bevy of young, mostly Canadian actors as Hinkley’s class.

"WKRP in Cincinnati” (1978)

Original: This sitcom about a mid-market rock station was beloved for its distinctive characters including a menagerie of wacky DJs, a stressed-out station manager, a nerdy newsman and a buxom receptionist with more going on upstairs than anyone guessed. A 1991 sequel (of sorts), "The New WKRP in Cincinnati” retained some of the characters but none of the charm and hilarity of the original.

Reboot: "WKRP.com” is a hot independent music site (e.g., Pitchfork) with a staff of hipster video bloggers and writers. This hip Gen-Y workplace one-hour dramedy satirizes and challenges music culture stereotypes while featuring guest stars including today’s hottest music acts.

Recast: Danny Masterson ("The ’70s Show”) as the slightly older but still cool boss struggling to balance success and his indie roots. Alexis Bledel ("Gilmore Girls”) as the bitchy star of the station’s most popular streaming show. Alexz Johnson ("Instant Star”) as the new girl. Kyle Labine ("Samurai Girl”) as the slacker guy. Corbin Bleu ("The Beautiful Life”) as the black guy.

"Small Wonder” (1985)

Original: Scientist Ted Lawson creates a lifelike robot girl, Vicki, and decides to keep her a secret by adopting her as his "daughter.” Heartwarming comedy ensues as Vicki learns to be human while teaching the Lawson family a thing or two about life and love.

Reboot: Gender swap–the scientist is now the wife. No longer a robot, Vicki is a clone with a variety of enhancements. Her superhuman strength, speed and cognition (as well as the occasional brain glitch) make it difficult to conceal her true identity while causing a number of comedic situations at school and at home. The new "Wonder” is as much about fitting into the treacherous social waters of junior high as learning to be a part of a family.

Recast:  Audrey Marie Anderson ("The Unit”) as scientist Joan Lawson. Sean Gunn ("Gilmore Girls”) as her husband, Ted. Some kid plucked out of the Disney eugenics labs as cute little clone Vicki.
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